


Thunderstorms

by Lousy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: "Tavros's childhood" sums up the warnings pretty well, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Neglect, Jake being a bad father, Jake being a good father, Minor Jane Crocker/Gamzee Makara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26795542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lousy/pseuds/Lousy
Summary: It's not a thunderstorm but it's just as loud and Tavros has just as little control. Jake seems to feel the same.Takes place before Jake leaves Jane.
Kudos: 9





	Thunderstorms

Maybe if Tavros curled in tight enough, he could disappear. It probably would’ve happened by now if that were possible, but he wouldn’t say a word if it turned out the person in charge of such powers had forgotten to throw his particular switch for thirteen years. At this point he’d settle for falling asleep. Or being in a different room. A different house. As if on cue, a _thump_ reverberated through his bedroom wall followed by a series of honks. Tavros rolled to face away from the door and pulled a pillow over his head. He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping the view would bore him to sleep faster than the night before.

_HONK_

“Shut up,” he spat.

His stomach twinged. He shouldn’t have said that, even if no one could hear. And as paranoid as he was about his acts of rebellion, the uninterrupted racket guaranteed he’d gone unheard.

Tavros stiffened. He'd spoken too soon; that last impact had come from the hall. But it had been different, like someone glancing off the wall rather than being slammed into it. The pillow flopped back against the bed so Tavros could better—

Light. Even though it was soft and even though Tavros’s eyes were closed, he’d been staring into darkness so long the yellow glow hurt. Holding his breath, Tavros peeked at the wall where a silhouette was cast by light from the open door. His pounding heart slowed realizing the albeit fuzzy shape could only be his father. Its occasional sways and over-adjustments could almost be passed off as a product of Tavros’s sleep deprivation. Almost.

When the door clicked shut Tavros released his breath, too late noticing the shuffling of socks on carpet. The bed sunk at his rear as Jake took a seat and Tavros balled up the sheets in front of him, neck prickling. More silence, no doubt more staring, until it was broken by a muffled shriek, a honk, and a crash. Jake’s sigh could be felt through the mattress.

Tavros stared at the sheets bunched in his hand. “Dad?”

The bed shifted again. “Oh!” Jake whispered. “I’m sorry, Tavvy, I just feel like ten pounds of shi— er, stool in a five-pound bag for waking you up.” 

When Jake’s hand came down to pat the bed Tavros jerked his foot away without thinking. Despite the apology, Jake made no move to let Tavros get back to daydreaming about sleep.

“… it’s fine. I, um, couldn’t quite drift off anyway.”

“Hm.” Was all his father had to say.

The bed’s next creak sounded more like a shipwreck and Tavros was rolled onto his back by the dip in the mattress. He fought to face the wall again, clinging to the sheets and clawing to the very edge as his father laid out on his back. While Jake settled in, Tavros became hyper-aware of every inch of fabric touching his skin and the miasma of whiskey replacing the room’s air. 

Tavros chewed his lip. “Dad?”

“Tavvy would you… would you mind letting your old man hit the shucks in here tonight? It’ll be like back when you were a tot. Remember that? During thunderstorms you’d come stand in the door of the ol’ parental abode on tenterhooks, hands all twisted up, more a bundle of the heebie-jeebies than my favorite pumpkin seed. Then there’d be the biggest, greatest crash you’d ever heard in your life and before I could make heads or tails of it, you’d be in my arms. Even after Mom gave us the boot and I’d carried you to bed you’d stay tucked up next to me so I could fend off all that rumbling and howling and crashing and smashing and,” Jake trailed off as his onomatopoeias lost focus. “Anywho, how’s it sound? It’ll be swell.”

Tavros shrank even further into himself, the sheets in his hand now damp. His muscles ached from holding the position and every one of his nerves stood at the ready. He didn’t know why, maybe it was the unexpectedness of the situation or the now inescapable stench of alcohol, but the man lying next to him felt like a stranger. And oddly enough the anecdote hadn’t helped. It felt ill fitting in a way Tavros couldn’t place. 

Logically he knew there was no reason to be anxious. Jake was his doting father, the one who’d raised him and taught him the importance of guns and morning jogs. This was the man who’d wiped his tears when he’d fallen and shown him how to give the perfect hug and then, once he’d mastered that, the perfect cuddle. All he wanted was to spend the night somewhere other than his room and who was Tavros to judge him for it? But no matter how much he reminded himself of the love he’d experienced Tavros couldn’t relax. Not when he was choking on fumes and struggling away from the depression in the middle of his bed.

_HONK_

“Tavvy?” Jake’s voice broke over the name.

Tavros let go of the sheets. “Okay, Dad.”

**Author's Note:**

> In my files this is called "Fuck off, let me sleep" because on the night of an exam it was rattling around in my brain louder than a clownfucker and her clown. Upd8s really do be like that.


End file.
